Two weeks ago the sermon was dedicated to Joy, yay. The following week I was in Washington DC, so I missed the sermon on Peace. Though ironically, I found quite a bit of peace surrounded by hundreds of thousands of strangers. This week we explored the next fruit of the spirit, Patience. Ughh.
Patience is a struggle. Before the sermon I would have said I possessed very little patience. Trapped behind a texting teen at a green light. Telling my daughter to put her clothes away so they don't migrate to her floor and back into the laudry basket without ever touching her body. Explaining for the fiftieth time that a student needs to capitalize the personal "I." My prayers being answered with silence. All of these things suck any vestige of patience I thought I may have scraped together. Right now I feel flush with patience, but in an instant impatience can obliterate all of this current peace, or so I thought.
Yet again, a little church has set my mind at ease a bit. Irritation is not the lack of patience. Patience is the ability to endure without retaliating. With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 I may not like certain things that happen in life, but I can endure them all easily when I take heart in them being a part of life because God made them so. Showing self-control in the face of difficulty is patience.
I can forgive as I've been forgiven. There are no circumstances that can't be patiently and joyfully waded through. Nothing anyone has done is any worse than the trespasses I have committed. I have renounced God out of anger and ignorance, and yet he has always lovingly brought me back without prejudice. For the most part, I am able let my irritation ebb from my heart knowing I really have no right to expect perfection from another. Everything that happens (or doesn't happen) can be turned over to God, and therefore be rendered no longer troubling.
The length of our patience is directly tied to the depth of confidence we have in God. I have full confidence in God running the universe because I have already proven that I can't. I don't have to lose my patience over Barbie being absorbed by her phone. I will arrive at my destination when I arrive. If I want to avoid rushing, I can leave earlier. My kiddies not minding doesn't have to lead to me speaking roughly to them. They will have to roll with the calmly-implemented consequences and learn not that they have an angry mom but a patient one. The little i will make just as much sense, and when the student is ready adopt the English standard he will. I can gratefully accept that silence is sometimes the answer to my prayers, if not right away, gradually. Patience always wins out.
I had a hard time reading this. It... took.. sooo... long. Patience is so much about giving up control. In fact, after awhile it becomes, not patience, but Faith.
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