Brush strokes

Good feelings are easy to find; you don't even need a GPS...though sometimes it helps. I'd love to take credit for consciously deciding that everything in my life this weekend was a gift to be appreciated, but really it was just brimming my favorite things: people, new experiences, and God.

Someone asked me what my dreams and fantasies were. I gave some vague answers, but after thinking about it, I'm living my dreams. It takes a little focus to realize it sometimes though. This weekend was full of exchanges and experiences that added details to the work of art called life, becoming ever more clearer as I love and work and play and pray a little every day.

Outstanding brush strokes:

I reconnected with two good friends and a load of family that I'd sort of lost contact with. These are people that I love deeply and periodically mourn because I haven't seen them in a while. The connections hadn't grown stale or awkward in the least. I love people and want to hold on to all of them. Just because direct contact may fade, doesn't mean that the connection is lost. It's just dormant while a different season plays across the canvas.

I also met some new people who unknowingly gave me a more distinct vision of the self being shaped. They were funny, warm, adventurous, and unassumingly poised. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, but I know that I want to.

The context of adventure is more about opening one's self to positive possibilities than paring down what I want to build the walls of my rut out of. I like singing karaoke, bbqing, and watching movies, but that doesn't mean I don't have room to enjoy geocaching, running from "Big Jim" the barber, or taking a moment just to nap on the swing in the backyard. Good stuff. 

Failing is okay as long as I'm failing forward. When I lie, justify, or ignore my tresspasses, the hurt, resentment, anger, fear, and guilt obscure humility, growth, and grace. If there is a part of my life that I haven't surrendered to God, then sooner or later that part spirals downward into suffering. Affording myself the same grace God offers me allows me to learn and grow from my mistakes. Only when the seed dies can the sprout be born. I am thankful for this gradual cycle that brings me more fully into God's light and love.

What a beautiful life I've been given. Yay.